LeeleeSobieski.com: Is she too tall to date? - LeeleeSobieski.com

Jump to content

  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Is she too tall to date? The answer will surprise you!

#1 User is offline   JohnA Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 5,646
  • Joined: 11-March 03
  • Location:USA

Posted 10 May 2007 - 05:47 PM

Saw this article on MSN today (May 10 2007) and thought it might be of interest to Leelee fans (especially short ones like me).

http://msn.match.com...?articleid=6933

'Too tall to date?

By Elizabeth Roehrig

There I was, sitting at the bar, enjoying some thank-God-it’s-the-end-of-the-week drinks with a friend, when we noticed a couple of hip and handsome guys sitting next to us. Witty banter ensued between me and the Casey Affleck look-alike and things were looking promising… that is, until we both stood up to pick a few songs from the jukebox. It was the moment of truth, and yep, at almost 5’10”, I was a couple of inches taller than him. I could feel him sizing me up, and our sizzle from a moment ago beginning to fizzle.

If you’re in the “tall girl” club like me, you’ve probably experienced this scenario. And while dating for women like us may have its inherent challenges, they’re not ones that we can’t overcome. Let our stories and advice serve as a little inspiration.

Hurdle #1: Fewer men approach tall women

Many of my tall friends, myself included, are very open to dating shorter men—the problem is often that they steer clear of us, thinking that we’re “too tall” given the expectation that guys will loom over their dates. Patricia Barba, 34, of Greenwich, CT, who’s just shy of six feet, had a male co-worker spell out to her why she’s so often left on the sidelines. “We were at our holiday party, and a co-worker who’s around my height asked if I’d like to dance. I said yes and mentioned that not many men ask me to dance, and he said it’s because men must find my height imposing. That was hard to hear!” Other times, men aren’t so straightforward and their preferences come across in the form of a subtler snub. “When I’m out at a bar, I’m the one who talks to all the guys and gets the conversation going,” says Richelle, 27, who’s 6’ and from Boston. “But usually at the end of the evening, the guy I’ve been talking to will say, ‘Who’s your friend?’ And inevitably the girl he’s interested in is one of my shorter pals.”

Unexpected upside: The guys who do hit on us tend to be great catches

While being overlooked as dating material due to our height can be frustrating, there is a benefit to this situation as well: The shorter men who do hit on us are worth their salt. “I recently dated a guy who is an inch shorter than me, but his personality and confidence made him seem taller,” says Patricia. “He seemed really self-assured, which put me at ease and made our height difference seem like a non-issue. I think generally that guys who go for taller women are pretty dynamic individuals.” In other words, look at your height as a gatekeeper that only allows the truly worthy shorter men into your inner circle. Mary, 27, from Woodbridge, NJ, is 5’8” and has dated a handful of shorter men, including her current boyfriend. “Since they don’t have the height that a lot of girls look for, these guys develop other, more meaningful qualities, such as kindness, humor, and consideration,” she says… which ultimately makes for a better boyfriend. “While a shorter man might not be my first choice, if he’s much more interested in me and attentive to my needs, who can say no to that?” she asks.

Hurdle #2: Few men meet our own height requirements

While many tall women are perfectly happy to date shorter guys, some of us, I admit, aren’t always thrilled about it. And as a result, we often limit our own prospects and have no one to blame but ourselves for long dating dry spells. “I would go out all the time and find only one or two guys that I considered prospects because of my ‘height restriction,’” says Sarah, 5’10”, of Reading, MA. “I was only looking for guys 6’1” and over, because it just seems more natural for the man to be taller.” Of course, we know we should give shorter guys a chance, but it’s tough to change your own perception (let alone society’s) that the guy should tower over his gal. “You grow up with this notion that the man should be bigger than the woman so he can protect her,” explains Erin, 26, 6’2”, of Richmond, VA.

Unexpected upside: Tall women learn to recognize what really makes a relationship work

While tastes and attraction are hard to change, sooner or later, many tall women are forced to accept a valuable truth that often eludes other daters: That they should jettison the more superficial traits on their “wish list” for a partner—whether that’s being 6’2”, having a full head of hair or possessing six-pack abs. “While I used to believe that a man needed to be taller than me for me to feel safe, I know now that isn’t true,” says Erin, who ultimately fell for a man three inches shorter. “When I first met my now-husband, I thought he was cute, but I never thought we’d end up together due to the height difference. But we had a real connection, and I know now that’s what counts.”

Hurdle #3: Once you’re dating a shorter guy, there’s a whole new host of problems

OK, so you’ve gotten over your own “He’s got to be taller than me” hang-up and have hit it off with a guy who’s largely fine with the fact that you’ve got some inches on him. But even then, you’re not in the clear. For starters, walk into a room arm in arm and you’re bound to get some odd looks. “I once dated someone shorter. He said it didn’t matter to him, but people couldn’t help but comment on it and make some pretty embarrassing jokes,” says Richelle. “Once, we were asked if he stood on the curb to kiss me!” To keep the wisecracks to a minimum, many women abandon their heels in favor of flats. But even then, the undue attention can sometimes be unbearable.

Unexpected upside: You learn to stop caring what other people think

Know that phrase “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? That also applies in this scenario: Sooner or later, most tall women who date shorter men develop a Teflon coating. They stop caring if people point at them walking down the street together or if friends and family members make height jokes. They learn that all that really matters is whether you like the guy and whether he likes you. Six-foot-tall Ciana Clarke, 40, of Tallahassee, FL, may have felt awkward when she first began dating her shorter husband, but that soon changed. “His family and friends would tease him about his height rather than mine and say that he was lucky to land me, but he never let their cracks bother him,” she recalls. “He made me feel like a treasure and celebrated my difference more than anything else. I was proud of my height before we met, but his love and acceptance have made me feel more comfortable with our four-inch height difference.” And there’s no reason to relegate your high heels to the back of the closet when you have a self-confident guy in your corner. “My husband is really the one that made me start to embrace my height,” says Erin. “Before I met him I don’t think I owned one pair of heels—now I can’t get enough of them. My man loves me for all that I am, height included!”

Elizabeth Roehrig has written for Redbook and other publications. To read the other side of the story, click here.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.'

-- John
0

#2 User is offline   DC76 Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 866
  • Joined: 08-February 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Shawnigan Lake, British Columbia, Canada
  • Interests:- God and His Word
    - studying, learning and writing about languages
    - playing, watching and writing about soccer
    - Leelee Sobieski ;-)
    - writing long stories
    - making music (I wish I could anyway)
    - listening to GOOD music

Posted 10 May 2007 - 05:58 PM

My biological mother was 6' and my biological father was 5'8" laugh.gif (That didn't last, but not because of the height diff - whole different story there). Also, my English 12 teacher used to be married to the guy that taught me Science 10, and she's at least 6'2, taller than my dad. I think he was only around as tall as I am, around 5'11, 5'11 1/2" something like that. tongue.gif

I could honestly care less what height a woman is anyway. One of my biggest university crushes was the exact same height as me ph34r.gif

I still see your eyes where light hits the water
And I've never seen a colour so beautiful
I still hear your voice from across the horizon
And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?
In time I'll believe it was just an illusion
In time I'll believe it was only a dream
'Til then I will breathe you in from the ocean
And walk with the waves rolling under my feet...
0

#3 User is offline   DAK Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 815
  • Joined: 08-October 01
  • Location:a Lewis Carroll nightmare playing the part of a lost bard
  • Interests:too may to list.

Posted 10 May 2007 - 08:37 PM

I met a girl...who was pretty tall...
...around 6 feet. (I'm 6' 3") I'm usually taller than everyone anyway, so, I don't ususally pay much attention to height.
...I'm reluctant to reveal any details...but damn. biggrin.gif Ya know, if you're dancing, and you're bumpin' into each other, purposely and she's diggin' it - not to mention, giving you that look - then damn, it probably wouldn't hurt to ask for a phone number or an e-mail or something. wink.gif

Gah, anyway, that was a couple years ago - what's past is past.
-Dan
0

#4 User is offline   Aeramas Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 647
  • Joined: 21-October 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:D/FW Texas
  • Interests:I like movies quite a bit, however oddly enough I can not stand watching tv.

Posted 10 May 2007 - 09:31 PM

My mom is 5'1 and my dad is 6'1 and they have have been married for 25+ years. My two tallest GF's have been 5'6 and 5'9 and all of my GF's have been taller than me at my overwhelming height of 5'2... I fail to see the problem with this...although the last look I got from the 5'9 gf when I went to kiss her was outrageous. She had a look of confusion on her face because I had taken her by surprise and I was "looking down at her". After the kiss, she looked down and I was on the second step up on the porch, and she just started laughing....It was a kodak moment, yall had to see....
I second THAT, now what are we talking about again?
0

#5 User is offline   LloydG Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,963
  • Joined: 30-September 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sydney, Australia

Posted 11 May 2007 - 06:30 AM

Being taller than me is a disqualifier... though I'm honestly not sure why. Maybe my unconscious reckons the tall ones can out-run me so there's no point starting the chase. unsure.gif

Also not a fan of big boobs, which makes my presence here a bit of a paradox. mellow.gif
Oublie
0

#6 User is offline   simplyme Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 61
  • Joined: 23-March 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Detroit area Michigan

Posted 11 May 2007 - 07:41 AM

I actually never knew guys had a problem dating women because of their height. I guess I just have a tendency to notice other things. I have noticed however that a lot of women have strict height requirements. A friend of mine is barely over 5' and wont date guys under 6'. If you browse through yahoo profiles you'll notice that a lot of them will have the height requirements written there. Humans are so strange! tongue.gif
0

#7 User is offline   Torak Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 4,328
  • Joined: 01-June 02
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:UK

Posted 11 May 2007 - 02:13 PM

Lloyd, presumably you're interested in her other qualities instead. Can't quite imagine you boiling someone down to a single (sorry, dual) attribute.

As for tall women... I'm 6'5", or 6'4" or something, depending on which measuring tape I use, and I enjoy dancing. So tall women are a much better choice - dancing with shorter women gives me a backache.

As for dating, I don't have a problem with tall women, for obvious reasons. But I do seem to have a problem with dating. laugh.gif
Non Levitas Tolero Fatui
B) WOLUWE JAZZ - GO ON, LET ME BRAG B)
0

#8 User is offline   DC76 Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 866
  • Joined: 08-February 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Shawnigan Lake, British Columbia, Canada
  • Interests:- God and His Word
    - studying, learning and writing about languages
    - playing, watching and writing about soccer
    - Leelee Sobieski ;-)
    - writing long stories
    - making music (I wish I could anyway)
    - listening to GOOD music

Posted 11 May 2007 - 02:40 PM

QUOTE
But I do seem to have a problem with dating. laugh.gif


You and me both, Torak tongue.gif You and me both.




















(WTF am I talking about? I've never even been on one ph34r.gif )

I still see your eyes where light hits the water
And I've never seen a colour so beautiful
I still hear your voice from across the horizon
And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?
In time I'll believe it was just an illusion
In time I'll believe it was only a dream
'Til then I will breathe you in from the ocean
And walk with the waves rolling under my feet...
0

#9 User is offline   Serge Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 1,624
  • Joined: 22-October 01
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Russia - Chelyabinsk
  • Interests:IT

Posted 12 May 2007 - 12:39 AM

I don't have a problem with her height. When is the date??? biggrin.gif
0

#10 User is offline   DC76 Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 866
  • Joined: 08-February 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Shawnigan Lake, British Columbia, Canada
  • Interests:- God and His Word
    - studying, learning and writing about languages
    - playing, watching and writing about soccer
    - Leelee Sobieski ;-)
    - writing long stories
    - making music (I wish I could anyway)
    - listening to GOOD music

Posted 12 May 2007 - 12:44 AM

QUOTE (Serge @ May 11 2007, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't have a problem with her height. When is the date??? biggrin.gif


laugh.gif Nice one, Serge! That cracked me right up!

At least it was you asking the question and not me ph34r.gif lol

I still see your eyes where light hits the water
And I've never seen a colour so beautiful
I still hear your voice from across the horizon
And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?
In time I'll believe it was just an illusion
In time I'll believe it was only a dream
'Til then I will breathe you in from the ocean
And walk with the waves rolling under my feet...
0

#11 User is offline   Aeramas Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 647
  • Joined: 21-October 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:D/FW Texas
  • Interests:I like movies quite a bit, however oddly enough I can not stand watching tv.

Posted 12 May 2007 - 01:02 AM

QUOTE (DC76 @ May 11 2007, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE
But I do seem to have a problem with dating. laugh.gif

You and me both, Torak tongue.gif You and me both.


I come to the conclusion any woman worth the time and effort is not going to give the guy the time and effort, regardless of height. A good example, how many of us guys has Leelee talked seriously about dating? How many of us has she actually talked to?
I second THAT, now what are we talking about again?
0

#12 User is offline   DC76 Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 866
  • Joined: 08-February 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Shawnigan Lake, British Columbia, Canada
  • Interests:- God and His Word
    - studying, learning and writing about languages
    - playing, watching and writing about soccer
    - Leelee Sobieski ;-)
    - writing long stories
    - making music (I wish I could anyway)
    - listening to GOOD music

Posted 12 May 2007 - 01:23 AM

QUOTE (Aeramas @ May 11 2007, 11:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (DC76 @ May 11 2007, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE
But I do seem to have a problem with dating. laugh.gif

You and me both, Torak tongue.gif You and me both.


I come to the conclusion any woman worth the time and effort is not going to give the guy the time and effort, regardless of height. A good example, how many of us guys has Leelee talked seriously about dating? How many of us has she actually talked to?


a> she's taken

b> she's a feckin MOVIE STAR laugh.gif

c> even if a> and b> weren't the case, half or more of us are from a rather sizable distance from her hometown (home city, whatever), and it's been my experiences that 99.9% of long-distance relationships go bust. ph34r.gif

That said, some women who are "worth the time and effort" do actually give the guy the time and effort. But those are special cases. Like my friends Simon and Jabin tongue.gif

I still see your eyes where light hits the water
And I've never seen a colour so beautiful
I still hear your voice from across the horizon
And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?
In time I'll believe it was just an illusion
In time I'll believe it was only a dream
'Til then I will breathe you in from the ocean
And walk with the waves rolling under my feet...
0

#13 User is offline   Aeramas Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 647
  • Joined: 21-October 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:D/FW Texas
  • Interests:I like movies quite a bit, however oddly enough I can not stand watching tv.

Posted 12 May 2007 - 02:22 AM

QUOTE (DC76 @ May 12 2007, 01:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
a> she's taken

Yes, but sometimes people want something different than what they have. Women actually do leave men for other men they find more interesting.
QUOTE (DC76 @ May 12 2007, 01:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
b> she's a feckin MOVIE STAR laugh.gif

no she isn't. She is a very beautiful, intelligent Lady, who happens to be into art, with the media being film. A LOT OF PEOPLE LOVE HER ART!
QUOTE (DC76 @ May 12 2007, 01:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
c> even if a> and b> weren't the case, half or more of us are from a rather sizable distance from her hometown (home city, whatever), and it's been my experiences that 99.9% of long-distance relationships go bust. ph34r.gif

heh, she travels all the time, and I honestly think that if it came down to it, she would find a way to be with the guy she wanted.

I know a "relationship" is probably not possible with her, but I value true friendships as much as relationships. You will never get anywhere in this world without friends, and if it had not been for the friends I have now, I would not be here...


oh, and by the way, she hasn't given me the effort because I am worth the time, lol

see previous post
QUOTE (Aeramas @ May 11 2007, 11:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have come to the conclusion that any woman worth the time and effort is not going to give the guy the time and effort, regardless of height. A good example, how many of us guys has Leelee talked seriously about dating? How many of us has she actually talked to?

I second THAT, now what are we talking about again?
0

#14 User is offline   romanticapathy Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 347
  • Joined: 24-August 05
  • Location:Oklahoma, USA

Posted 03 June 2007 - 07:38 AM

So we know all about tall chicks, but what about fat chicks? We get no love.

I've found that the guys who hit on me aren't worth the time and effort, because all they're going for is the "shy, insecure one" who makes for an easy target.

sad.gif

Stupid boys.
0

#15 User is offline   Mike Icon

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 661
  • Joined: 02-March 02
  • Location:Southampton, UK

Posted 03 June 2007 - 09:05 AM

QUOTE (romanticapathy @ Jun 3 2007, 01:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So we know all about tall chicks, but what about fat chicks? We get no love.


In my experience the girls who are less physically perfect are the ones who have the better personalities. Be yourself, be confident, be happy and the worthy guys will notice you.

Mind you, judging by your avatar you look pretty cute. And not in the least bit fat.

But if I where to hit on you you'd probably complain I was too old. Now there's something that of amount of dieting and botox can fix...
"Oh, the futility of it. Spending so much time in mirrors, when the soul itself is so threadbare."
0

  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users